Over the years as a Life Coach I have learned, on a VERY personal level, that a fulfilling life does not start in the head. At it’s core, it starts in the heart. While our brain (the logical mind in our head) plays an obvious role in our lives, aligning the two (logical mind and heart mind) is paramount in living a life of flow, joy and love.
The Logical Mind is where all the thinking, planning, goal setting etc happens. Where your memories are stored and experiences, emotions and meanings are made. And then we have the Heart Mind! This has been the original mind for centuries. Your North Star and compass. The one that will guide you when you are feeling lost, buried in victimhood, judgment, negativity and just not your true self as you were sent to experience this life.
Before you were born you were given this heart mind so that you would have a direct connection with the higher intelligence that created you and that lives within you. It is within you as your guide in all stages of your life. It is programmed to whisper and nudge you were you should be going.
Now, everyone has their own unique Heart Mind, although it has the same purpose and that is keeping you in your original state of high vibration. It is designed to guide you to live your true innate purpose from day one. And it will fulfill it’s job perfectly if you allow it. For many of us though, our childhood was not flooded with the freedom to trust the quiet nudging that our heart whispers to our soul. Like a bird singing it’s song outside…our windows shut tight, you will not hear it’s stunning tune and be grateful for it’s gift to your day unless you stop, pay attention and LISTEN to it. Truly HEAR what it is communicating to you.
So how do you know where your ‘mind’ is and if it’s in the right place?
The logical mind usually comes up with stories, reasons, doubts, fears and excuses. It is programmed to find and avoid fear and pain. This is what we have been trained to be doing for gazilion years. In doing so, this is what you will experience more of on a day to day basis IF you remain in your unconscious slumber and forget to consciously connect with your heart mind. You may already know that the quality of your thoughts create your emotions. It is not your heart. It is easy to imagine that a romantic emotion is coming from your heart but it is actually your logical mind that is creating this emotion in your body. Science now has proof that the chemical reaction that comes from an emotional experience has it’s destination in a thought. In a nutshell, you experience a situation, your logical mind creates a meaning out of it based on past experiences and an emotional response is created. This is not your heart speaking.
The heart mind on the other hand will give you the raw TRUTH applicable to YOU in any situation. PERIOD. It knows what is best for you and the interconnected universe (to your heart, you ARE the universe 😉 ) And the more you connect with your heart, the more you will be able to distinguish between it’s whispers and your mind’s mumbling.
Some examples to help you distinguish between your two minds:
A Child of 6 years old
Logical mind will tell him: “I really want to play games on Dad’s phone during the 15 minutes we have together before he goes back to work. I haven’t played all day and I love getting the bonus points and prizes.”
Heart mind will tell him: “I miss dad and would much more enjoy if he reads me a book before he goes to work or if we play a game of Uno together.”
Logical mind: “I really feel I need a pick me up and want another piece of that deliciously decadent chocolate cake in the office refrigerator”.
Heart mind: “Make a cup of tea. Take a walk in nature. Open the window and take a deep breath of fresh air. All that sugar is not what you need right now. What is it you are really thinking about and feeling that makes you believe a piece of cake will help you? You miss your friend and it’s ok to be sad. Sit with the emotion instead of shoving it down with food. Process it and let it leave your body naturally.” (This is called buffering. We can buffer by over-eating, over-facebooking, over-porning, smoking, drugging, over-exercising, over-drinking etc.)
Logical mind: “I’m being taken for a ride. I should be earning more money for the hours I’m working. Why is he/she being promoted and I’m stuck doing the same old job again?…”
Heart mind: “I wonder how I can make a positive change in the atmosphere. Maybe we should arrange a weekly or monthly night out with my colleagues so we can get to know each other better. I wonder what I could learn from this group to be of more value? I wonder what he/she can teach me that would help me serve this corporation better?”
Logical mind: “My child is misbehaving at school. I need to discipline him. Show him who’s boss. I’m not going to be made a fool of by the rest of the parents and teachers.”
Heart mind: “I wonder what is going on underneath that is causing my child to misbehave. I will take him for an evening walk to chat with him. Maybe he is feeling stressed by all the changes happening around him too fast. Maybe he needs more play time to release his energy from all the sitting in the class. Maybe he’s spending too much screen-time and not enough outside time. Maybe she needs more one-on-one time with mom or dad…?” By going beneath the surface you will bypass your logical mind’s fear-based, ego-centered justifications for the behaviour and your heart will guide you to find the way to reconnect with your child. When you do this, when you find the root cause of the behaviour, the need that is asking to be fulfilled, the behaviour no longer needs to stay and it will leave.
Logical mind: “Why doesn’t he ever ask how my day was? He doesn’t care. He’s not bothered anymore. I’m so exhausted and nobody cares. I have so much on my plate right now.”
Heart mind: “What is causing me to feel triggered? I need to call a family meeting and express how I am feeling. I know my partner loves me and I want him/her to know I’m going through a rough patch. We’ll throw some ideas around and see what we come up with. He/she doesn’t know I am feeling like this and it’s not fair to put that responsibility on him/her.”
Can you see how the heart mind comes and softens the response to the situation? You are guided to a calmer state on the inside to channel a ‘higher’ energy towards your solution. And the more you practice this the more habitual itll become. It will start to be your AUTOMATIC response. Ok, on most days 🙂
How can you build coherence and alignment between the logical and the heart mind?
My MasterCoach Trainer at Robert Simic Coaching Institute shared this beautiful and simple guide to help me start on this powerful journey and I am paying it forward by sharing it with you:
Get yourself in a comfortable position, sitting or lying down.
Take a deep breath in and as you breathe out, close your eyes.
Keep your breathing at a slow, even pace without forcing it.
Just slow down and breathe a little bit calmer and slower than normal. (if you like you can put on some calming music or nature sounds to enhance your experience):
1) Place your hand on your heart so you can turn your focus there (this is so you can get out of your head and put awareness on your heart)
2) Breathe deeply while keeping your focus/attention on your heart.
3) Imagine you are breathing through your heart.
Your breathing should be getting deeper and slower and more focused.
4) While still breathing through your heart, take a moment to notice someone or something you are so very grateful for. Feel the feeling of gratitude or appreciation or care or compassion and focus on that feeling for as long as possible.
5) Keep breathing deeply and slowly while focusing on the gratitude and let that feeling spread from your heart to the rest of your body, filling your body with this beautiful emotion until you overflow from your fingertips and edges of your body.
6) With this overflow, extend the feeling to your loved ones, to the people close to you. Then, extend it to the world and fill the earth with this beautiful gift you have created from your heart.
Stay in this space for as long as you feel guided.
(Feeling the emotion of gratitude, appreciation, care or compassion generates your heart to emit the frequency of 0.1Hz to the brain which establishes communication and creates harmony between your brain and your heart).
This simple and profound exercise is a tool to communicate with your body on a cellular level. It is creating a vibration for healing, health and vitality. While in this space, you are at your best.
When you consistently create this harmony between your amazing brain and true heart you will know, upon consulting with your heart on your next decision, that it is your heart speaking and not your logical mind. Learn to trust it and take action on it. Honor it and cherish it. It is your eternal gift from your creator.
So when I ask you, IS YOUR MIND IN THE RIGHT PLACE now, How do you reply?
Always with love,
If you are struggling with anything in your life right now, know that it doesn’t have to be that way. Get in touch and I will teach you how to end the struggles.