Soooo, I’ve been at home trying to get through contractions all day while Cristiano goes about his day at school, yesterday he went for his swimming lesson and then went to a friend’s house. He got home after 9pm so I immediately started his bedtime routine with his glass of milk, pj’s, teeth brushing and a story of his choice. Then a lullaby and goodnight kisses finally at 10pm! (Too late for my liking but it just happened to turn out like that yesterday).
As I was leaving his room for him to sleep he shouts out that he wants some tea! At 10pm! I was like “you don’t say?” Obviously I was not going to make him tea at that hour but he was insisting and kicking off his sheets having a mini tantrum and I think sort of trying to play mommy for not seeing him all day. Or that may just be my perception (of course it’s just my perception!!!)
I could feel myself reaching a point of snapping at him and then I remembered Dr. Shefali Tsabary saying when you reach the point of no return take a pause! Just be aware. Stop and wait before reacting to the situation and out of ego… Which will only send the child into their ego and get disconnected from you and push him away.
Luckily I was aware! So I paused. Took a breath. Reconnected inside And an idea came to me… I told him how about I make your tea after my shower and if you’re sleeping when I bring it to your room I could gently wake you up so you can take a sip? He nodded and we kissed and he got back onto his pillow, asked for one more lullaby and that was it.
So my advice for today: TAKE THAT PAUSE!!! It doesn’t matter if you don’t know what you’re going to do after the pause … Just take the pause. It will allow for a space, a gap in your mind for something other than ego to happen. Like magic!!!
And as Dr Shefali says, it will save you years of trials and messy fix-it’s resulting from ego madness in the future.
PS – it’s never about the tea is it?