When Dad’s Are Away

Hello my friends! It’s a rainy Thursday morning in Paphos Cyprus and I’m sitting in a lovely place enjoying my coffee and feeling inspired and blessed that I can share my story with you today!

Today’s blog is about the craziness … the unique craziness that happens when DAD’s are away! I don’t know if you saw my last vlog where I mentioned that my husband was away for 3 days and how things were a little crazy at home so if you missed it you can watch it here!

Kyriacos, also known as DAD, went to London for 3 days. It was an all-expenses-paid trip he couldn’t resist and was lucky to experience with his best friend. London over the Christmas season is a ‘wonderland’ apparently! So who in their right mind would say no!? And off he went!

I was left to fend for myself in the frenzy he left behind! Cristiano, our 6yr old son has an amazing bond with his dad. It is something very unique and beautiful. Sometimes I feel his dad knows him better than anyone else, including me. SHOCK? Maybe. Blessed? Definitely!
That said, when dad left Cristiano felt a little lost and deserted.

I did my best to fill his weekend with cool and fun stuff to do. You know, to keep his mind off the ‘heartache’ of his dad not being around. On Saturday morning we met up with his cousins at the mall and ate extremely sweet chocolate cupcakes! He was then allowed to go home with his cousin for lunch. Later he went to boys scouts and when I picked him and his friend up I surprised him with the news that I had arranged for his ‘scouts’ friend to sleep over if he wanted! HE WANTED!!!

They were in BOY BLISS! They had their shower, put on pj’s, robes, ate pizza and then wrapped themselves up in a warm blanket… finishing off a big bowl of popcorn and Smarties while watching ‘How To Train Your Dragon 2’!

I think I did pretty well!!! Eh hem….

Roll over to Sunday morning… they woke up so happy, singing loudly, playing with little Sofia who was screeching with delight at having another boy in the house! As if we needed another one dangling around . We finally had breakfast and after some playing outside the friend got picked up by his dad and went home.

You can guess what started to happen…. He was remembering the absence of his dad. His internal upset was starting to externalize and he started to play aggressively with his sister. He didn’t want to pack away his toys, or help tidy up the living area before we left the house. I had planned to take them to a Christmas Fair however I decided to take away the privilege when they were both reacting inappropriately towards each other regarding the tasks that needed to get done before we left the house. Once everything was finally in order and in their place, instead of the Christmas fair, I took them to our in-law’s orchard which is about 15 minutes out of town. (Between you and me, this was much more fun than the Christmas fair)!

With wellingtons on and umbrellas in the car off we went. We had a wonderful time… took a long walk (just the three of us) alongside the olive trees, mandarins and open fields. Cristiano even got very stuck in the mud… We shared a lovely lunch with grandma and grandpa, went home later and with Sofia refusing to take her nap, I gave them an early bath, put them in pj’s and their robes and headed upstairs to prepare some pancakes for them. I had proudly planned a quiet evening and was going to put them to bed early.

Then, like a crazy magic spell, the phone started to ring. And then again. And then again. It was my sisters, (I have 3) and it seemed like they wanted to ruin my plans of a quiet and chilled evening! What would I do without them!? I invited them over, plus our mom, and before I knew it, the house was full again. I cooked up the batch of pancakes with chocolate spread, brewed lots of tea, and the beautiful chaos continued in our home with the Christmas tree and lights twinkling in the background. Of course there was lots of loud, simultaneous talking. Some shouting. Even a dab of crying. A shot of selfies all around. And… there was buckets full of love!

When everyone went on their way, I took my little ones downstairs, read them their stories, tucked them in and let them doze off to sleep. Phew…. I was finally home free! It was 19h45… and I had the whole evening in front of me to do what I pleased! In my excitement I got showered, PJ’d, robed, slippered and trodded upstairs… oops, I forgot I still had to get lunches for school packed… so I got that done to a T… I really put my heart into those lunches….

Now I was home free! To start work on MY STUFF! On my passion. On my heart. On my Ripple Effect 

At around 21:30 I heard crying from downstairs and it wasn’t our toddler Sofia.

It happened. The volcano of missing his dad, and wondering if he was ok, and longing for his embrace and his fun wrestling bouts and advice finally ERUPTED. Cristiano was sobbing and pleading for his dad. It was bittersweet to watch… To watch and feel this immense outpouring of love between one heart and another. Holding him I just let him cry. I let him pour his heart out. To empty out his bucket and ride the wave of these strong, valid emotions he was feeling. I gently barely whispered to him “it’s ok to cry. I am here to hold you through this wave. It’s ok to feel how much your miss your dad. I am here to hold you through it. It’s ok to cry as hard as you want. I’m ok to hold you through it”.

Being a mom to this child has taught me so many things from day one. Without him realizing it, this boy, as a newborn infant, taught me patience. He taught me to trust myself. He taught me to trust others. He taught me it’s ok to make mistakes. He taught me it’s ok to WANT something deeply and to do the work to get it. He taught me a deep level of understanding and acceptance of time and of the seasons. Of how the things we desire deeply take time to grow and bear fruit.

In THIS moment though, as I was present in his walk over the bridge of his emotions and through the clouds of his tears, he taught me the biggest lesson …. And I only realize it now as I write and share this with you… he taught me… TO LOVE… TO LOVE SO DEEPLY THAT IT HURTS… TO LOVE SO DEEPLY SO THAT THE JOY OF THIS LOVE ‘HURTS’ AND BRINGS ME TO TEARS …. TO CRY AND WEEP AND IMMERSE MYSELF INTO THAT LOVE THAT ONLY AWAKENS WHILE ON THIS PATH OF DEEP CONNECTION.

When his sobs became weeping and his weeping became deep breathing I knew he was asleep and he could finally rest while he travelled with his dad in his dreams, ready to welcome him home the next day.

I welcome you now… To the deepest love you will ever know… Welcome to PARENTING!

Be wary, for when you jump in make sure you dive head first… and go ALL THE WAY DOWN TO THE DEEPEST OCEAN FLOOR… It’s the only way to do it…. And trust me…. you will feel like you are drowning… AND YOUR CHILD WILL HELP YOU SEE YOU ARE ACTUALLY SWIMMING!

I love you always and thank you for being in my world
Alexia

*Dedicated to Cristiano Kolokasides (6yrs young and teaching us so much)

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December 6, 2018

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